Sunday, January 13, 2013

Your Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit: Part 1 - Weapons (Ash's Take)

Hello, my highly prepared and equipped friends!

Sergei and I have been talking, and we thought it would be interesting to write a series of posts on what we feel like are the essentials for a zombie apocalypse survival kit. So here's what we're going to do: I'm going to write my list of weapons today and subsequent essentials over the next few days, and Sergei is going to write his list at some point in the future (currently, he's on a zombie patrol at Disney, because we figure that's the last place anyone would think to look for the start of the apocalypse). Note that I practice what I preach - everything here (with the exception of the AR-15, which I just sold last week) is currently part of my personal survival kit.

OKAY! Let's get to it!

The infamous AR-15. These guns have taken a lot of flak recently, but man, will they be important when the zombies show up. What is pictured to the right is the Smith & Wesson M&P15 rifle, chambered for 5.56 NATO. With a magazine capacity of 30 rounds, and this particular rifle with an EOTech 512 optic on top, you'll be able to defend your position from an onslaught of zombies, assuming of course that you have additional magazines and plenty of ammo. These rifles are accurate and light, so they won't slow you down while you're on the move. Things not on the rifle pictured here, but recommended: a new rail that would allow you to mount a flashlight, flip-up sights in case your optic malfunctions, and a sling for carrying the damn thing.

A semiautomatic pistol. Absolutely essential to any zombie survival kit is a semiautomatic pistol. Not a revolver. Revolvers don't have enough capacity and the action would likely be too difficult to use in the heat of a zombie battle. Now, the one I have is pictured here: a Beretta 92FS pistol chambered for 9x19mm Parabellum. With a 15-round magazine capacity and incredible accuracy, the one drawback to this firearm in particular is its size. It's huge. I happen to like it, but hey, it might not be for everyone. But like I said, it's accurate and reliable, and this particular firearm has one hell of a service record: in the 1980s the military version (the Beretta M9) was chosen as the primary handgun of the United States military. Also, it's 9mm - that means when you're on the run and having to loot Wal-Marts for ammo, it's much more likely that you'll find ammo for this pistol than something like a .45 ACP.

A shotgun! I think this may be one of the first points where Sergei disagrees with me, but we'll see. I really like a shotgun for your survival kit. Let's face it: in the heat of battle, it's incredibly unlikely that you're going to be accurate. A shotgun (pictured here is a 12 gauge Remington 887 Tactical) significantly lessens the requirement that you be accurate, but it comes at the expense of having to carry a pretty heavy gun with a much lower capacity (only 6+1 rounds). But like I said -- lower accuracy requirement, and man does it look threatening. Also, as I mentioned earlier, when you're out looting Wal-Marts for ammo, 12 gauge shells are going to be literally EVERYWHERE. So you've got that going for you.

A knife. Arguably the most important tool in your kit. Knives serve endless purposes - you can stab zombies in the head with them, you can use them to cut through foliage when trekking through the woods, cutting rope... the possibilities are literally unending. Pictured here is a Smith & Wesson M&P 5LS with serrated drop point blade. Thought it's hard to see in the picture, on the butt of the grip is also a glass breaker! Because think about it -- you happen to get trapped in a store while you're looting supplies, and through the back room come a horde of zombies. You've barricaded the front door to keep them out, but now it's having the negative effect of keeping you stuck in there! Well, with your trusty glass breaker, you can break a window and get the hell out of Dodge. Sure, you could do that with your fist as well, but you risk cutting yourself and possibly bleeding out. Anyway, if you don't know why a knife will be useful to you on your journey, perhaps you should just keep some cyanide pills on hand for when the zombies do come and just end it right up front.

A machete. I won't spend a lot of time here, because it's obvious why this is important as well. Head chopping of zombies, whacking your way through branches and bushes in the woods, fending off animals. You name it, and the machete can help you here. Pictured here is a Gerber Gator Hunter machete. Serrated on one entire end, this thing is really awesome.

A tactical tomahawk. Because, really... why not? I mean look at it. It's a freaking tactical tomahawk. You can use EITHER END to smash a zombie in the head. Plus it is pretty versatile as a general use tool. So, I think this makes a good addition. It's a little heavy, but I think it's worth it in the long run. Plus, it's easy to use, so if you have members of your party who aren't good with guns, give 'em the tomahawk and they'll probably be able to do some damage. At least, that's my take.

Okay. So that brings us to the end of my list of essential weapons. Sure, you can find other stuff while you're out there. And I definitely recommend using what you find. But, if you want to be prepared ahead of time, I think this is the stuff you need to have ready to go.

Next up, I'll go through a list of essential tools and things that will be handy to have around.

Stay frosty,


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